I was watching some videos from my old Masters Commission today and those creeping doubts about whether or not I was really supposed to come home came back and again there was that voice that likes to whisper “you know you’d still be doing ministry if you were still there”
I’lll be the first to admit that I’ve made more than my share of mistakes since I came home from 2 years of intense discipleship and outreach in the hood of Atlanta. I’ve given my heart away to those who didn’t deserve it and for a time fell back into my old pattern of drinking. As much as I would like to say I came home and started a ministry or that I am full time staff at church I am neither of those things.
The reality is that as much as my path this last two years has not been exactly what I or my pastors at my MC would have wanted for me , I believe it has been exactly what I needed and exactly where the Lord wanted me
. I have learned that Grace is an action word and that everyday I need to remember the words of one of my favorite worship songs. “you wont believe where I came from, believe in Grace” I now have an understanding that Grace is not just forgiveness of sin but the idea that the ultimate soverign God loves me so desperately that He will walk with me through hard things and that as much as I have been given Grace that I should also give it to others.
I am also learning that Love is a continual laying down of my rights for the better of the other person, that doesn’t mean being a door mat but that Love is patient and kind and keeps no record of wrongs.
At the end of the day, I know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be and that no matter what happens I know that “Jesus loves me and the rest we will figure out”